Sometimes the Top seems a LONG way off

Somehow I've always known I wanted to go to a big college. I remember going to U of I once when Kate was in Science Olympiad in Jr. High, and Dad and I talked forever about how great a big school was (probably more like Dad listened while I ranted, and that's why I love him). But when I chose to come to Mizzou, I think I had neglected the big-school part of it in favor of many other aspects. I definitely wasn't expecting there to be any friction in the transition from small-town high school to big-time college, but life isn't always what we expect.

Those of you who go to a small school (aka my siblings) are probably thinking the typical mantra about huge universities: you're just a number or just one in the crowd.

Let me be clear: I have never felt that way at Mizzou.

I couldn't really put a finger on it at first, but Jessica summed it up well by saying that everyone here, from the student staff to the professors, from the T.A.s to my fellow students, literally everyone wants me to succeed. I haven't met a single person who wouldn't point me toward whatever help I needed, and most people I have been lucky enough to work with would go above and beyond that.

So the crowd thing really isn't the problem I've been having. I think the friction here isn't really a problem, but just what friction implies: resistance to a motion (I'm in Physics 1210 right now, sorry for the metaphors).

In high school I wanted to be a stand-out, so I was. I didn't have to work particularly hard or be spectacular to become a club officer, or make varsity, or be in the top 10. I didn't have to be great; I had to be good. At Mizzou, that's not enough. Here, you don't have to be great; you have to be spectacular.

So far this semester, I've applied for summer welcome, student staff, Phi Sigma Pi (a co-ed honors frat), changing my major, and tour team. Personally, I believe I am well-qualified for all of these things. But I have thus far only found out about two of them, and I didn't get summer welcome or PSP. I am slowly learning that it's not enough to be qualified, you have to have that extra factor. And there's no telling what that is.

I'll be sure to keep posting about the rest of these applications. I should find out about my major next week and about student staff in mid-March. And after much consideration, I have actually decided to withdraw my tour team application, because I can't make that commitment for next year.

So while I sort out the friction, and keep working to improve myself (I'm not exactly one to take rejection lying down!), I think the important realization here is that this is real. In the real world: I won't get jobs. I won't get dates. I won't get promotions. Despite the setbacks, I know that going to a big school is right for me, because I want to be great, and the challenges here are built to help me reach my potential.

Just another day at the Zou,

Kathy