When push comes to shove, I usually let sleep win over studying.
On the other hand, I got up early this morning to bunk our beds, because Jessica was leaving. GIRL POWER in the extreme, we bunked those beds like pros!
But she's gone now, along with all her stuff, and it is sooooo weird sitting in an almost empty room. It will be weirder sleeping in this almost empty room tonight.
Last final tomorrow, and I'm ending it with a bang: Physics! Haha, it's almost a pun! Get it? Bang... physics? Anyone? Anyone? BUELLER?
This is what studying does to me. Oh god!
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Congrats to Just About Everyone Else
So my weekend at home proved to be pretty useless in the blogging department. And I gave up on my "Once a day in May" philosophy, so we'll stick to a couple times a week, which is just sad because it doesn't rhyme.
Anyway, my sister graduated from college this weekend, which was an interesting experience for two reasons. 1) It was 50 degrees, we were in the shade, and the wind was blowing. And 2) I've never been to a college graduation before.
There was a lot of pomp and circumstance to the whole affair (although only a little of the actual song "Pomp and Circumstance. Thank God. You can only play that song 3000 times before you hate it.) There was a lot more tradition and ceremony than at a high school graduation and also a lot more recognition of alumni.
The whole thing made me very proud of my sister, because even though it has always been expected in our family to graduate from college, it is still a major accomplishment and a huge milestone in her life. Props to Kate.
Also, happy birthday to my brother who turned 20 yesterday. He's so old!
Anyway, my sister graduated from college this weekend, which was an interesting experience for two reasons. 1) It was 50 degrees, we were in the shade, and the wind was blowing. And 2) I've never been to a college graduation before.
There was a lot of pomp and circumstance to the whole affair (although only a little of the actual song "Pomp and Circumstance. Thank God. You can only play that song 3000 times before you hate it.) There was a lot more tradition and ceremony than at a high school graduation and also a lot more recognition of alumni.
The whole thing made me very proud of my sister, because even though it has always been expected in our family to graduate from college, it is still a major accomplishment and a huge milestone in her life. Props to Kate.
Also, happy birthday to my brother who turned 20 yesterday. He's so old!
This is DJ. Apparently, he's a lover, not a fighter.
And a huge HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to my mama! She's the bestest!
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Racing to the Finish
Tomorrow morning, I have 35 one-page journals due for my Middle Ages class. Here's a run down of what my evening looked like:
8:10- 17 journals remaining
8:17- 1 down
8:18- Begin conversation with Annie Dirks
8:26- Force myself to resume work.
8:42- Two more done, only 14 left. I’m in the twenties!
8:54- One more done. 4 for the hour. Moving to the library, too loud here.
9:18- Finally found a new location. Club Ellis is rockin’. 1 more journal down.
9:27- 1 more down. I am on a role here!
9:43- Two more down in 15 minutes. I’m beginning to have hope that I might get to sleep this evening.
10:02- 25 down! Success! The end is near!
10:23- two more done. Midnight looks like a good timeframe right now.
10:41- 29 down, starting magical number 30 right now!
11:02- two more, TWO MORE!!
11:21- only some minor revisions left…
11:24- SUCCESS!!! It’s all over folks, I’ve done it!
Monday, May 3, 2010
E-Generation
Magical post number 29 right here, and it's got me thinking about the internet a bit.
Since the creation of my account in June 2009, I have tweeted well over 300 times.
Since receiving my Mizzou email account I have received over 1000 emails, and probably sent out as many.
On top of that, I have a yahoo email account and a very busy facebook, both of which I can't even begin to fathom numbers for.
I think it's a little crazy how much information we pour into the world electronically. I know I never would have written 1000 letters or made that many phone calls, nor would I have written a book or something instead of these 29 blog posts.
But what makes the internet such a blank canvas for our society? Why are we driven to throw as much information about ourselves as we can out into cyberspace? Often this has negative effects like cyber-stalking and employees checking out facebook to make hiring decisions, but we still post every little insignificant piece of our lives online.
I guess I'm just pondering a little bit because I'm currently reading the book all incoming freshman have to read for next year. It's called "Generation Me" and it's about the current generation aged between about 10-30, and it's already been enlightening to think about our culture in these terms.
One of the most powerful points the author makes is that we are fundamentally selfish people, and our society has taught us to put ourselves first with everything from songs and movies to books and parenting styles. And yet, my generation is the most depressed generation ever recorded.
Just something to ponder.
Since the creation of my account in June 2009, I have tweeted well over 300 times.
Since receiving my Mizzou email account I have received over 1000 emails, and probably sent out as many.
On top of that, I have a yahoo email account and a very busy facebook, both of which I can't even begin to fathom numbers for.
I think it's a little crazy how much information we pour into the world electronically. I know I never would have written 1000 letters or made that many phone calls, nor would I have written a book or something instead of these 29 blog posts.
But what makes the internet such a blank canvas for our society? Why are we driven to throw as much information about ourselves as we can out into cyberspace? Often this has negative effects like cyber-stalking and employees checking out facebook to make hiring decisions, but we still post every little insignificant piece of our lives online.
I guess I'm just pondering a little bit because I'm currently reading the book all incoming freshman have to read for next year. It's called "Generation Me" and it's about the current generation aged between about 10-30, and it's already been enlightening to think about our culture in these terms.
One of the most powerful points the author makes is that we are fundamentally selfish people, and our society has taught us to put ourselves first with everything from songs and movies to books and parenting styles. And yet, my generation is the most depressed generation ever recorded.
Just something to ponder.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
A Class Act
There are very few times when real people (as opposed to fictional characters) do something that makes me proud, and makes me want to live up to their standard. There are even fewer times when the person who makes me feel that way isn't a blood relative, or an inspirational teacher, or a humanitarian of some sort.
No, my inspiration today was, in fact, a comedian. None other than Mr. Conan O'Brien, former host of "The Tonight Show."
He was interviewed on tonight's episode of 60 minutes, and I was inspired by just how classy he was, by how much integrity he had in his decisions, and how he chose to live out those decisions with so much grace.
For those not aware, or perhaps wrongfully aware, of the situation, let me fill you in to the extent of my own knowledge.
In late June 2009, Jay Leno stepped down from "The Tonight Show" and handed it over to Conan O'Brien. Leno was moving on to his own show in an earlier slot, intended to interest adult viewers (his primary audience) who would then watch the nightly news after his show. O'Brien took over the traditional time slot for the show, and after only six or so months, had amassed a huge following of younger viewers, hitting largely on the 18-35 group.
But NBC was faced with a decision. Leno's early show was not making money nor being very successful in the ratings, and allegedly Conan's show wasn't either, although those are only rumors and NBC hasn't backed them with numbers. NBC offered to squeeze Leno into a shortened slot, and push "The Tonight Show" back to midnight (thereby making it no longer a show that happened at night).
Conan turned down the offer, and in a contract with NBC recieved 32 million dollars to terminate his contract, and was legally prohibited from appearing on television at all until May 1, and from operating his own show again for 7 months (so he could not have a show until after August).
Leno resumed his old post as the host of "The Tonight Show," a decision that shocked viewers across the country.
Since his leaving NBC, Conan O'Brien and many of his crew from the show have started touring the country on the "Legally Prohibited from Being Funny on Television" Tour. Conan has also signed a deal with TBS to start his own show in early November, appearing at 11p.m., and pushing George Lopez back to midnight, an situation that many sources, including the two hosts, have confirmed was Lopez's idea.
So now that you have some history, I think perhaps you can begin to see why I feel his actions were classy. Conan had the opportunity to continue his life-long dream of hosting "The Tonight Show," but at the expense of the history and principles of the show. He chose to leave gracefully, and has since continued to make us all laugh with his tour and his amazing Twitter account. If you have one, I suggest you follow him.
But as you can see from the interview, he genuinely feels no remorse for his decisions, and doesn't dislike the NBC executives or even Jay Leno. He refuses to say that they screwed him over (although, really, they kind of did), and instead maintains that things just didn't work out like they planned.
But the real test of his character, and the part I found inspiring, has to do with reversed roles. When asked what he would have done in Jay Leno's position, had he been offered "The Tonight Show" back, Conan replied that he wouldn't have made the same decision, that he would have chosen to leave that dream behind to act honestly and with integrity. And I think he is believable, because that is exactly what he did in January, in choosing to leave the show in the first place.
And although his new show will push Lopez back, he has said that he was reluctant to do that to someone else, and wouldn't accept the offer until Lopez himself called to explain that the situation was what he wanted.
It's truly inspirational to watch, and maybe more so for me because I have been an invested viewer of his show who watched the whole thing happen. But either way, I continue to look forward to Conan's return to t.v. in November and having him make the whole world laugh again. Because you can honestly tell from this interview that our laughter is all he wants in the world.
I'm going to choose to end this (LONG) post with a funny quote from the interview, since I've been very serious about a funny guy. Interestingly, this was his only form of revenge:
"That first day that I woke up and was no longer the host of "The Tonight Show" I remember the first thought I had is "I am not shaving." And that was my small victory. Ok, so I lost the Tonight Show, but I'll show them, I'll stop shaving!"
Please check out the full interview HERE.
http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=6453980n&tag=contentMain;contentBody
No, my inspiration today was, in fact, a comedian. None other than Mr. Conan O'Brien, former host of "The Tonight Show."
He was interviewed on tonight's episode of 60 minutes, and I was inspired by just how classy he was, by how much integrity he had in his decisions, and how he chose to live out those decisions with so much grace.
For those not aware, or perhaps wrongfully aware, of the situation, let me fill you in to the extent of my own knowledge.
In late June 2009, Jay Leno stepped down from "The Tonight Show" and handed it over to Conan O'Brien. Leno was moving on to his own show in an earlier slot, intended to interest adult viewers (his primary audience) who would then watch the nightly news after his show. O'Brien took over the traditional time slot for the show, and after only six or so months, had amassed a huge following of younger viewers, hitting largely on the 18-35 group.
But NBC was faced with a decision. Leno's early show was not making money nor being very successful in the ratings, and allegedly Conan's show wasn't either, although those are only rumors and NBC hasn't backed them with numbers. NBC offered to squeeze Leno into a shortened slot, and push "The Tonight Show" back to midnight (thereby making it no longer a show that happened at night).
Conan turned down the offer, and in a contract with NBC recieved 32 million dollars to terminate his contract, and was legally prohibited from appearing on television at all until May 1, and from operating his own show again for 7 months (so he could not have a show until after August).
Leno resumed his old post as the host of "The Tonight Show," a decision that shocked viewers across the country.
Since his leaving NBC, Conan O'Brien and many of his crew from the show have started touring the country on the "Legally Prohibited from Being Funny on Television" Tour. Conan has also signed a deal with TBS to start his own show in early November, appearing at 11p.m., and pushing George Lopez back to midnight, an situation that many sources, including the two hosts, have confirmed was Lopez's idea.
So now that you have some history, I think perhaps you can begin to see why I feel his actions were classy. Conan had the opportunity to continue his life-long dream of hosting "The Tonight Show," but at the expense of the history and principles of the show. He chose to leave gracefully, and has since continued to make us all laugh with his tour and his amazing Twitter account. If you have one, I suggest you follow him.
But as you can see from the interview, he genuinely feels no remorse for his decisions, and doesn't dislike the NBC executives or even Jay Leno. He refuses to say that they screwed him over (although, really, they kind of did), and instead maintains that things just didn't work out like they planned.
But the real test of his character, and the part I found inspiring, has to do with reversed roles. When asked what he would have done in Jay Leno's position, had he been offered "The Tonight Show" back, Conan replied that he wouldn't have made the same decision, that he would have chosen to leave that dream behind to act honestly and with integrity. And I think he is believable, because that is exactly what he did in January, in choosing to leave the show in the first place.
And although his new show will push Lopez back, he has said that he was reluctant to do that to someone else, and wouldn't accept the offer until Lopez himself called to explain that the situation was what he wanted.
It's truly inspirational to watch, and maybe more so for me because I have been an invested viewer of his show who watched the whole thing happen. But either way, I continue to look forward to Conan's return to t.v. in November and having him make the whole world laugh again. Because you can honestly tell from this interview that our laughter is all he wants in the world.
I'm going to choose to end this (LONG) post with a funny quote from the interview, since I've been very serious about a funny guy. Interestingly, this was his only form of revenge:
"That first day that I woke up and was no longer the host of "The Tonight Show" I remember the first thought I had is "I am not shaving." And that was my small victory. Ok, so I lost the Tonight Show, but I'll show them, I'll stop shaving!"
Please check out the full interview HERE.
http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=6453980n&tag=contentMain;contentBody
Packing Up
It's weird all the emotions I'm experiencing right now, as I'm moving the majority of my stuff out of my dorm room.
I'm down to the point where all my clothes fit in one dresser drawer, and I only have enough of them to get me through the week. I've stripped my walls of all the posters except the ones in frames, which will go home wedged in my mattress pad. I packed up my one extra table and put the coffee maker and toaster from it in a box.
But the strangest thing, and the one that made the most difference to the room, was picking up the rug. It's not something you would think of, especially if you've never lived in a small space like a dorm, but having a rug down makes a place a home. It's soft and warm for your feet, and comforting all around. Without it, my side of the room feels almost naked.
I say my side because Jessica hasn't started packing yet, and won't for another week or so. I'm taking the majority of my stuff home this coming weekend when I go home for Kate's graduation/DJ's birthday/mother's day, and then I'll come back for finals week.
And having her side still in tact has made the stark contrast even more defined. She's still got pictures up all over the place, her desk and closet still very much are her own. But my side could belong to anyone, a stranger. And it is creepy to think that next year it will belong to a stranger. Will they be a freshman, like I was? Will they experience a whole world full of memories and opportunities their freshman year, just like I did? Will the roommates who share this room be friends, like we were?
So sitting here without most of my stuff is weird, and I'm almost shocked that my freshman year of college is just about over. I feel like it was yesterday that I brought all this stuff in here for the first time, and I distinctly remember going out and buying that rug that made such a big difference to my temporary home.
I suppose most people are somewhat used to this feeling, having moved at some point in their lives. But I've lived in the same house for longer than I can remember, and I didn't realize how I would feel, packing up my stuff.
Part of me is sad because I've had some really great memories in this room, and it has been a home to me for the last nine months or so. But part of me is really excited because of all the opportunities that wait for me beyond this room. Next year, I'll be across campus in a different building, in community style housing, but without a roommate. And that's a whole new world to be excited and nervous about.
I'm down to the point where all my clothes fit in one dresser drawer, and I only have enough of them to get me through the week. I've stripped my walls of all the posters except the ones in frames, which will go home wedged in my mattress pad. I packed up my one extra table and put the coffee maker and toaster from it in a box.
But the strangest thing, and the one that made the most difference to the room, was picking up the rug. It's not something you would think of, especially if you've never lived in a small space like a dorm, but having a rug down makes a place a home. It's soft and warm for your feet, and comforting all around. Without it, my side of the room feels almost naked.
I say my side because Jessica hasn't started packing yet, and won't for another week or so. I'm taking the majority of my stuff home this coming weekend when I go home for Kate's graduation/DJ's birthday/mother's day, and then I'll come back for finals week.
And having her side still in tact has made the stark contrast even more defined. She's still got pictures up all over the place, her desk and closet still very much are her own. But my side could belong to anyone, a stranger. And it is creepy to think that next year it will belong to a stranger. Will they be a freshman, like I was? Will they experience a whole world full of memories and opportunities their freshman year, just like I did? Will the roommates who share this room be friends, like we were?
So sitting here without most of my stuff is weird, and I'm almost shocked that my freshman year of college is just about over. I feel like it was yesterday that I brought all this stuff in here for the first time, and I distinctly remember going out and buying that rug that made such a big difference to my temporary home.
I suppose most people are somewhat used to this feeling, having moved at some point in their lives. But I've lived in the same house for longer than I can remember, and I didn't realize how I would feel, packing up my stuff.
Part of me is sad because I've had some really great memories in this room, and it has been a home to me for the last nine months or so. But part of me is really excited because of all the opportunities that wait for me beyond this room. Next year, I'll be across campus in a different building, in community style housing, but without a roommate. And that's a whole new world to be excited and nervous about.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Color Me Jealous
Kate (my sister) and Andy's new puppy. Her name is Chloe.
Can't wait to meet my new niece of sorts next week! I'm going to be a fabulous aunt!!
Chloe riding in the car to their apartment.
Awwwwww!
Reminds me of Flash... zzzzzzz
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Hyperbole and a Half and Puppy Love
"Love is wonderful in that it can never be wasted or used up. We can never replace the people or animals we have loved, but the love we feel for them can be expanded. I like to think of love as being stretchy. It is easy to feel guilty when you start to love a new pet - like somehow that means you love your old friend less. But when you think of love as being stretchy and able to expand, you can see that there will always be room for everything. You can love as much as you want."
When I hear something like this, I remember Sally, and it makes me smile a little. I still love her and miss her, and we really grew up together. But Flash and Opal are wonderful, and the love I have really did stretch to include them both.
Anyway, this is a quote from my new hero: Hyperbole and a Half
Her blog is SOOOOOOOOO FUNNNY! It's full of drawings and randomness and a noodle with a speech impediment. IT'S AWESOME. The post about ALOT is my life in a nutshell.
This is a tiny taste of her genius. Absolutely all credit goes to Allie!
When I hear something like this, I remember Sally, and it makes me smile a little. I still love her and miss her, and we really grew up together. But Flash and Opal are wonderful, and the love I have really did stretch to include them both.
Anyway, this is a quote from my new hero: Hyperbole and a Half
Her blog is SOOOOOOOOO FUNNNY! It's full of drawings and randomness and a noodle with a speech impediment. IT'S AWESOME. The post about ALOT is my life in a nutshell.
This is a tiny taste of her genius. Absolutely all credit goes to Allie!
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
And So It Begins
I don't expect every college in the world to be Mizzou. And I'm not saying that registering for summer classes should be instant and online at every college (but really, I mean it's 2010 here).
But when it takes six hours on and off of calling to get registered for summer classes, that's when it becomes a little ridiculous.
But I'm registered, I'm taking summer classes, and it's all sorted out now. I've just got to finish this semester, which is seeming more and more impossible!
Wish me luck!
But when it takes six hours on and off of calling to get registered for summer classes, that's when it becomes a little ridiculous.
But I'm registered, I'm taking summer classes, and it's all sorted out now. I've just got to finish this semester, which is seeming more and more impossible!
Wish me luck!
And a Dash of Feminism for Flavor
Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater.
If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.
If you give her a house, she'll give you a home.
If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.
If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart.
She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit.
:D I feel like I should be getting that embroidered on a pillow or something.
Anyway, my roommate and I have been battling my...ummm... bug condition? I guess that's a way to put it. I woke up one morning about a week ago now with this series of 8 or 9 bites on my arm in about a 3 inch space, and they REALLY burned when they got wet in the shower. So I slap some hydrocortizone on it, and forget about it. But I happened to mention it to Jessica and in the space of five minutes, the girl has me convinced I was attacked by a spider living in my clothing, I have bed bugs, or I could possibly have fleas or ticks or something else living in my bed. So naturally, I pulled all of my sheets and my mattress pad and did some major laundry. I'm really not worried because the bites are almost healed, but she's still freaking out a bit.
Check that out HERE. That's her amazing blog. Muy inspiring. She's going in to broadcast journalism, but her blog makes me think she should definitely be writing. Something. Somewhere.
I think things will be better now that's she has washed her sheets too. Either way, we are moving out in two weeks now. It's crazy that my freshman year of college is coming to a close. Wasn't it just yesterday I was packing to get here? And now I'm trying to figure out how in the world I'm going to get all this junk home.
And I'm wondering what it will be like with friends for next year. The roommate thing will be changing. Jessica is headed into her sorority house and I'm going to be reslife staff, and it will be a change to just be friends and not roommates. But I think it'll be good. And what about other friends? You know, the people I hung out with those first weeks of college aren't really even a part of my life anymore, and honestly I have about five people I'm interested in staying in touch with from this year. It will be so different to come back in the fall, and sort of start over.
Which brings me to my last point for this post, which is getting ridiculously long. Any thoughts out there on whether I should blog over the summer?? This blog is supposed to be about my college days. Is the summer a part of that? I was thinking maybe I would set the mandate of only blogging about things in context of college, but I don't want to miss anything substantial either. Opinions, as always, are appreciated.
If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.
If you give her a house, she'll give you a home.
If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.
If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart.
She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit.
:D I feel like I should be getting that embroidered on a pillow or something.
Anyway, my roommate and I have been battling my...ummm... bug condition? I guess that's a way to put it. I woke up one morning about a week ago now with this series of 8 or 9 bites on my arm in about a 3 inch space, and they REALLY burned when they got wet in the shower. So I slap some hydrocortizone on it, and forget about it. But I happened to mention it to Jessica and in the space of five minutes, the girl has me convinced I was attacked by a spider living in my clothing, I have bed bugs, or I could possibly have fleas or ticks or something else living in my bed. So naturally, I pulled all of my sheets and my mattress pad and did some major laundry. I'm really not worried because the bites are almost healed, but she's still freaking out a bit.
Check that out HERE. That's her amazing blog. Muy inspiring. She's going in to broadcast journalism, but her blog makes me think she should definitely be writing. Something. Somewhere.
I think things will be better now that's she has washed her sheets too. Either way, we are moving out in two weeks now. It's crazy that my freshman year of college is coming to a close. Wasn't it just yesterday I was packing to get here? And now I'm trying to figure out how in the world I'm going to get all this junk home.
And I'm wondering what it will be like with friends for next year. The roommate thing will be changing. Jessica is headed into her sorority house and I'm going to be reslife staff, and it will be a change to just be friends and not roommates. But I think it'll be good. And what about other friends? You know, the people I hung out with those first weeks of college aren't really even a part of my life anymore, and honestly I have about five people I'm interested in staying in touch with from this year. It will be so different to come back in the fall, and sort of start over.
Which brings me to my last point for this post, which is getting ridiculously long. Any thoughts out there on whether I should blog over the summer?? This blog is supposed to be about my college days. Is the summer a part of that? I was thinking maybe I would set the mandate of only blogging about things in context of college, but I don't want to miss anything substantial either. Opinions, as always, are appreciated.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Letting Go
Two in one day AGAIN! This is insane here people!
I've known this day was coming for about ten months now. I knew eventually I would get here, but I just couldn't imagine ever being on this side of the fence.
As of today, I am no longer a JC for the IAJHSC Leadership Camp. Today mail went out and emails ensued for all of those lucky ones who will be returning to camp this summer. And since Leadership Camp has been such a huge part of my life, I figured I owed it some blog time.
It was 2001 when I first stepped foot into Allerton Park in Monticello, IL. I was with my family, dropping my sister off at this camp full of crazy weirdos jumping around and singing and making noise. I went back in 2003, when I dropped my brother off for the same experience. And finally, I went for myself in the summer of 2004, armed with the knowledge and wisdom of my siblings, whose only advise was: be yourself.
That one single week taught me everything I know about being my own person, and I can't begin to describe how camp changed my life. And going back as a JC was the best of my high school years.
I can't even come close to explaining all of the amazing experiences I had at camp, so I won't even try, but I do have to say that camp isn't a place, or a week full of events. Camp is a song in my heart that will always be playing in the background, and its influence touches everything I do.
I'm incredibly grateful for my years at camp, and I'd love to go back as a senior staffer and continue giving back to that powerful organization and learning from those amazing delegates. But for now, I'll be sad and jealous that all of my friends get to go back because they are still in high school and eligible to be JCs, and I'm in college, forced to move on with my life and let go.
I've known this day was coming for about ten months now. I knew eventually I would get here, but I just couldn't imagine ever being on this side of the fence.
As of today, I am no longer a JC for the IAJHSC Leadership Camp. Today mail went out and emails ensued for all of those lucky ones who will be returning to camp this summer. And since Leadership Camp has been such a huge part of my life, I figured I owed it some blog time.
It was 2001 when I first stepped foot into Allerton Park in Monticello, IL. I was with my family, dropping my sister off at this camp full of crazy weirdos jumping around and singing and making noise. I went back in 2003, when I dropped my brother off for the same experience. And finally, I went for myself in the summer of 2004, armed with the knowledge and wisdom of my siblings, whose only advise was: be yourself.
That one single week taught me everything I know about being my own person, and I can't begin to describe how camp changed my life. And going back as a JC was the best of my high school years.
I can't even come close to explaining all of the amazing experiences I had at camp, so I won't even try, but I do have to say that camp isn't a place, or a week full of events. Camp is a song in my heart that will always be playing in the background, and its influence touches everything I do.
I'm incredibly grateful for my years at camp, and I'd love to go back as a senior staffer and continue giving back to that powerful organization and learning from those amazing delegates. But for now, I'll be sad and jealous that all of my friends get to go back because they are still in high school and eligible to be JCs, and I'm in college, forced to move on with my life and let go.
Exploring Mizzou
One of my personal philosophies is that there is always something more to learn.
Whether that applies to classes, jobs, or life in general, I think it's an attitude everyone should adopt in their own life.
One thing I thoroughly enjoy about Mizzou is that there is always an opportunity to learn more about this beautiful campus. Some days, I take a different walk across campus, and discover a building I never even knew existed, such as London hall, which I found today. Sometimes, I cut through a building instead of walking around, and come across the offices of an organization I had heard of, but never seen.
It might seem mundane to most of you, but I'm just adding it all to my mental list. The more I know about this place I love, the better reference I can be for my residents next year and for prospective students I see on campus. I hate not knowing the answer to one of their questions, so every little bit of my information adds up.
It might seem strange that I've been on campus for almost a whole year now and yet there is still more to be learned every day. But I grew up in a tiny town in Menard County, and I wouldn't dare to say that I know where each road is in Menard, or even where every store is. But with each drive in the country, and each walk around campus, we add to our personal arsenal of knowledge, and come out better armed for the future.
Whether that applies to classes, jobs, or life in general, I think it's an attitude everyone should adopt in their own life.
One thing I thoroughly enjoy about Mizzou is that there is always an opportunity to learn more about this beautiful campus. Some days, I take a different walk across campus, and discover a building I never even knew existed, such as London hall, which I found today. Sometimes, I cut through a building instead of walking around, and come across the offices of an organization I had heard of, but never seen.
It might seem mundane to most of you, but I'm just adding it all to my mental list. The more I know about this place I love, the better reference I can be for my residents next year and for prospective students I see on campus. I hate not knowing the answer to one of their questions, so every little bit of my information adds up.
It might seem strange that I've been on campus for almost a whole year now and yet there is still more to be learned every day. But I grew up in a tiny town in Menard County, and I wouldn't dare to say that I know where each road is in Menard, or even where every store is. But with each drive in the country, and each walk around campus, we add to our personal arsenal of knowledge, and come out better armed for the future.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
And My Job Comes Crumbling Down
I promised you two in one day, so here goes the second!
I work at a dining hall on campus called Eva J's, and yesterday I had to work. On Mondays I work the slowest shift from 2:30 to 4pm. And yesterday the dish machine broke so we had to quickly take all of the dishes off the counters so students wouldn't use them, and replace them with paper products.
I got to work on it right away, and stacked plates and some bowls, and was working my way through the room. So we have these carts that we put dishes on, and they're all shaped differently depending on what size dish goes where. Someone had put a stack of about ten small bowls in a soup bowl slot, which is much too large for those bowls. Without thinking through the consequences, since I was in a hurry, I started putting the same bowls on top of those. And, you guessed it, as soon as I moved the cart, all of them came spilling out.
If you've ever wondered what dropping around 50 glass bowls sounds like, let me be the first to tell you, it isn't pretty and it is VERY loud.
All three managers were there, and came running to see what had happened. I was already in the process of cleaning things up and simply trying not to make the situation worse. Two of the bosses jumped right into help, while I went to get a broom. The other manager, well you can imagine that one.
Here's the most important part, and how the dialogue played out (names have been removed to protect, well, mostly myself):
Angry Manager: "How did this happen Kathy?"
Manager on the floor cleaning: "Someone must have stacked the dishes here and when she moved them, they all fell out.
Me: Oh, I wish. "No, there were a few there, but I stacked the rest without thinking about it, and they broke when I moved the cart."
Angry Manager: "I'm really disappointed in you Kathy, you were supposed to be helping fix the situation, not make it worse."
So you see from this how VERY easy it would have been to just be like, you're right manager on the floor cleaning, that IS how it happened. But I couldn't do that. Even crying and stressed out and upset as I was, I didn't want to put the blame on someone else who might have gotten in trouble for it. Damn my parents for raising me right!
Anyway, so I finished cleaning up the incredible amount of glass on the floor, crying the whole time. Not to mention that anytime someone said something about it, I started crying again. I felt like an idiot, but when I genuinely feel sorry for something, I tend to cry. It's a very traumatizing habit.
I pretty much assumed I was going to be fired, and when I was done with the shift, I approached one of the managers, said I was sorry again, and offered to pay for it. She was WAY too nice about the whole thing, said it happens to everyone, and her and another full-time worker who is super sweet hugged me until I stopped crying. Angry manager had left at that point, but I'll see her at work again today. Yikes.
Anyway, I learned a lot from this whole thing. Mostly, I won't be making any rash decisions anytime soon, but I guess you can say that something like that does happen to everyone, and we grow and move on, and probably a cry a little (or in my case, a lot).
I work at a dining hall on campus called Eva J's, and yesterday I had to work. On Mondays I work the slowest shift from 2:30 to 4pm. And yesterday the dish machine broke so we had to quickly take all of the dishes off the counters so students wouldn't use them, and replace them with paper products.
I got to work on it right away, and stacked plates and some bowls, and was working my way through the room. So we have these carts that we put dishes on, and they're all shaped differently depending on what size dish goes where. Someone had put a stack of about ten small bowls in a soup bowl slot, which is much too large for those bowls. Without thinking through the consequences, since I was in a hurry, I started putting the same bowls on top of those. And, you guessed it, as soon as I moved the cart, all of them came spilling out.
If you've ever wondered what dropping around 50 glass bowls sounds like, let me be the first to tell you, it isn't pretty and it is VERY loud.
All three managers were there, and came running to see what had happened. I was already in the process of cleaning things up and simply trying not to make the situation worse. Two of the bosses jumped right into help, while I went to get a broom. The other manager, well you can imagine that one.
Here's the most important part, and how the dialogue played out (names have been removed to protect, well, mostly myself):
Angry Manager: "How did this happen Kathy?"
Manager on the floor cleaning: "Someone must have stacked the dishes here and when she moved them, they all fell out.
Me: Oh, I wish. "No, there were a few there, but I stacked the rest without thinking about it, and they broke when I moved the cart."
Angry Manager: "I'm really disappointed in you Kathy, you were supposed to be helping fix the situation, not make it worse."
So you see from this how VERY easy it would have been to just be like, you're right manager on the floor cleaning, that IS how it happened. But I couldn't do that. Even crying and stressed out and upset as I was, I didn't want to put the blame on someone else who might have gotten in trouble for it. Damn my parents for raising me right!
Anyway, so I finished cleaning up the incredible amount of glass on the floor, crying the whole time. Not to mention that anytime someone said something about it, I started crying again. I felt like an idiot, but when I genuinely feel sorry for something, I tend to cry. It's a very traumatizing habit.
I pretty much assumed I was going to be fired, and when I was done with the shift, I approached one of the managers, said I was sorry again, and offered to pay for it. She was WAY too nice about the whole thing, said it happens to everyone, and her and another full-time worker who is super sweet hugged me until I stopped crying. Angry manager had left at that point, but I'll see her at work again today. Yikes.
Anyway, I learned a lot from this whole thing. Mostly, I won't be making any rash decisions anytime soon, but I guess you can say that something like that does happen to everyone, and we grow and move on, and probably a cry a little (or in my case, a lot).
Oh Yeah Professors, I Feel Your Pain
So I have been incredibly busy awful about updating my blog lately, so I thought I'd give you two in one day. Hold on to your hats people!
Let's start by back tracking to late March. It's 5:05 and I have a meeting at 5:30. I decide to quickly check my email while I'm getting ready to leave, and WHAM! I start screaming my head off and freaking out and jumping up and down on my knees on my bed (too tall to do that standing up). Why am I having a spaz attack, you ask? Well only because I found out I got the student staff position I applied for!
What has two thumbs and is working in Defoe-Graham next year?? THIS GIRL! Ok, probably everyone else working there has two thumbs too, but I haven't met them yet, so I don't want to judge.
Anyway, these last few weeks have been filled with a bucket full of emails and a handful of staff training already. It's a little overwhelming just how much work PAs have to do to get ready for next fall. And I'm not trying to hate on CAs and LAs but you have it so EASY right now! While you sit quietly through one training session, we have extras AND meetings with our cofacs AND writing a syllabus to worry about.
Ok quick guide to Mizzou lingo for those not familiar:
PA- Peer Advisor- lives in the residence hall with students, and also teaches a class to about 15-20 of those residents called a FIG (freshman interest group)
CA- Community Advisor- lives in the residence hall with students
LA- Leadership Advisor- lives in the hall with students, also advises hall government
NCO- Non-Commissioned Officer- Army/Navy ROTC all that jazz, but like a PA
HC- Hall Coordinator- a professional who lives and works in a hall and coordinates staff and students while handling the official business end of things
Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. I'M EXCITED! But there's a lot to worry about, which brings me to the title of the post.
Writing a syllabus is HARD! There's a lot to think about, and a ton of factors to take into consideration. I suppose it would be easier if you were a professor and therefore an authority on your subject and it wasn't a concern that you would sound like a moron. But since I'm teaching an Exploring Culture and Religion FIG, I'm not exactly an authority here.
Anyway, wish me luck! Here's to hoping I don't screw up too many lives!
Let's start by back tracking to late March. It's 5:05 and I have a meeting at 5:30. I decide to quickly check my email while I'm getting ready to leave, and WHAM! I start screaming my head off and freaking out and jumping up and down on my knees on my bed (too tall to do that standing up). Why am I having a spaz attack, you ask? Well only because I found out I got the student staff position I applied for!
What has two thumbs and is working in Defoe-Graham next year?? THIS GIRL! Ok, probably everyone else working there has two thumbs too, but I haven't met them yet, so I don't want to judge.
Anyway, these last few weeks have been filled with a bucket full of emails and a handful of staff training already. It's a little overwhelming just how much work PAs have to do to get ready for next fall. And I'm not trying to hate on CAs and LAs but you have it so EASY right now! While you sit quietly through one training session, we have extras AND meetings with our cofacs AND writing a syllabus to worry about.
Ok quick guide to Mizzou lingo for those not familiar:
PA- Peer Advisor- lives in the residence hall with students, and also teaches a class to about 15-20 of those residents called a FIG (freshman interest group)
CA- Community Advisor- lives in the residence hall with students
LA- Leadership Advisor- lives in the hall with students, also advises hall government
NCO- Non-Commissioned Officer- Army/Navy ROTC all that jazz, but like a PA
HC- Hall Coordinator- a professional who lives and works in a hall and coordinates staff and students while handling the official business end of things
Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. I'M EXCITED! But there's a lot to worry about, which brings me to the title of the post.
Writing a syllabus is HARD! There's a lot to think about, and a ton of factors to take into consideration. I suppose it would be easier if you were a professor and therefore an authority on your subject and it wasn't a concern that you would sound like a moron. But since I'm teaching an Exploring Culture and Religion FIG, I'm not exactly an authority here.
Anyway, wish me luck! Here's to hoping I don't screw up too many lives!
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Lists Fix All
So it's been a long and stressful day that resulted in no classes, missed homework, two hours of work (in 100 degree heat because the AC isn't on) and a doctor's visit. Lots to process there, but I'll let the world know if I know anything.
So instead of sharing my life, I thought I'd update some interesting insights I've had lately/absolutely random crap to take my mind off things.
1. Local government in Missouri is like God, only better. You think I'm joking, but they seriously worship that here. Mayoral elections were today and it was this really big thing and I got messages on FB and Twitter telling me to vote, and I'm not even a registered Missourian! It seems like all the locals I know are really involved with it and knew all the candidates names. I don't even know my own mayor's name in Petersburg! Don't I feel lame.
2. Spring Weather = disgusting clothing (or lack thereof). Cover up the rolls and the cottage cheese legs, thanks! I'm not saying everyone needs to wear jeans and long shirts, but I don't really want to see your crotch or your tots up close and personal while I'm walking through campus.
3. Reality TV and Zombies have a lot in common. Dancing with the Stars, American Idol, the Bachelor, you name it! They're all eating brains!
4. Castle, on the other hand, is awesome.
5. Dr. Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog will get stuck in your head and will be very embarrassing to sing out loud A big old thank you to Annie Dirks for introducing me to this movie, but I've had the songs stuck in my head since Saturday.
6. Ending a list on a number that isn't 5 or 10 (or a multiple) is very annoying. But some times you really only have 6 things to say!
So instead of sharing my life, I thought I'd update some interesting insights I've had lately/absolutely random crap to take my mind off things.
1. Local government in Missouri is like God, only better. You think I'm joking, but they seriously worship that here. Mayoral elections were today and it was this really big thing and I got messages on FB and Twitter telling me to vote, and I'm not even a registered Missourian! It seems like all the locals I know are really involved with it and knew all the candidates names. I don't even know my own mayor's name in Petersburg! Don't I feel lame.
2. Spring Weather = disgusting clothing (or lack thereof). Cover up the rolls and the cottage cheese legs, thanks! I'm not saying everyone needs to wear jeans and long shirts, but I don't really want to see your crotch or your tots up close and personal while I'm walking through campus.
3. Reality TV and Zombies have a lot in common. Dancing with the Stars, American Idol, the Bachelor, you name it! They're all eating brains!
4. Castle, on the other hand, is awesome.
5. Dr. Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog will get stuck in your head and will be very embarrassing to sing out loud A big old thank you to Annie Dirks for introducing me to this movie, but I've had the songs stuck in my head since Saturday.
6. Ending a list on a number that isn't 5 or 10 (or a multiple) is very annoying. But some times you really only have 6 things to say!
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Friends
I hope you know the joy you bring me
I hope you know how beautiful you are
I hope you know what light you give
The shining sun, a constant star
There are days when I forget to say
Exactly what you mean to me
But day in, day out, rain or shine
My friend you’ll always be
And I hope that I can give it back
This love that you have shared.
Each moment I can give to you,
Each fragile gift I spared.
The good within your very soul
Has brought me to your light
And my own goodness, large or small
Is insignificant in your sight
But there is that within you
Which deserves a friend with heart
So I’ll strive each day to be her
And we’ll both do our part
For friendship is what both can give
A push, a pull to share
And together in this motion
We’ll lift the world, a pair
I hope you know how beautiful you are
I hope you know what light you give
The shining sun, a constant star
There are days when I forget to say
Exactly what you mean to me
But day in, day out, rain or shine
My friend you’ll always be
And I hope that I can give it back
This love that you have shared.
Each moment I can give to you,
Each fragile gift I spared.
The good within your very soul
Has brought me to your light
And my own goodness, large or small
Is insignificant in your sight
But there is that within you
Which deserves a friend with heart
So I’ll strive each day to be her
And we’ll both do our part
For friendship is what both can give
A push, a pull to share
And together in this motion
We’ll lift the world, a pair
Sunday, March 7, 2010
One Page of Me
So over the last couple weeks I have been refining my resume, working into a professional document and getting it down to one page. Basically, this means I have spent a lot of time looking at my own experience and trying to make it sound awesome.
It's very interesting to have to widdle down these last 18 years of my life into a single page. What things have I learned that an employer might be looking for? What have I accomplished? Answering these questions has been challenging to say the least, and I think my resume, though entirely truthful, comes off as a very polished version of me. And I am definitely not polished.
Why is it that society expects us to prove who we are and what we can do on one piece of paper? I know very few people who I could sum up in so short a space, and it's even harder doing that to myself.
Just a bit of what's going on in my life. On the plus side, I'm going home this weekend for Muni auditions and friends and the musical and PUPPIES! I miss nothing about home so much as I miss my beautiful dogs, Flash and Opal. That's why their pictures are at the bottom of the right hand side! Check them out!
p.s. I pretty much think the title of this blog is awesome. I should definitely copy right that and make it into a book. I'm thinking very "Spoon River Anthology"-esque where each person gets a single page for their story. Hmmm...
It's very interesting to have to widdle down these last 18 years of my life into a single page. What things have I learned that an employer might be looking for? What have I accomplished? Answering these questions has been challenging to say the least, and I think my resume, though entirely truthful, comes off as a very polished version of me. And I am definitely not polished.
Why is it that society expects us to prove who we are and what we can do on one piece of paper? I know very few people who I could sum up in so short a space, and it's even harder doing that to myself.
Just a bit of what's going on in my life. On the plus side, I'm going home this weekend for Muni auditions and friends and the musical and PUPPIES! I miss nothing about home so much as I miss my beautiful dogs, Flash and Opal. That's why their pictures are at the bottom of the right hand side! Check them out!
p.s. I pretty much think the title of this blog is awesome. I should definitely copy right that and make it into a book. I'm thinking very "Spoon River Anthology"-esque where each person gets a single page for their story. Hmmm...
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
What If?
I don't know if other people have these sorts of thoughts, but I was struck by a very odd passing thought today, which got me wrapped up in this whole alternate universe.
What if farts were colored?
OK, go with me on this for a second. If farts were colored, what would the world be like? Imagine if a little purple cloud just floats behind you every time you fart. Would the world be more accepting of flatulents? Would we all just be walking around in a purple haze? Think about it, people pass gas ALL the time, what if we all knew??
Just thought I'd leave you all with that interesting question. Lots going on in my life, and maybe I'll blog about it later.
What if farts were colored?
OK, go with me on this for a second. If farts were colored, what would the world be like? Imagine if a little purple cloud just floats behind you every time you fart. Would the world be more accepting of flatulents? Would we all just be walking around in a purple haze? Think about it, people pass gas ALL the time, what if we all knew??
Just thought I'd leave you all with that interesting question. Lots going on in my life, and maybe I'll blog about it later.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
A Small Tragedy
Friday morning on Mizzou's campus, some ignorant people sprinkled a cotton balls all over the lawn of the Black Culture Center. Their actions were offensive to everyone: not only the black race, but to all Mizzou students, because this is a reflection on all of us.
A couple friends organized a clean-up, and I went with too. But when we got there, someone else had already cleaned up, so we went inside instead to offer our apology. We weren't apologizing on behalf of our race, as some people thought. Sure I'm white, and the people who did this are probably white, but I'm not responsible. I'm apologizing because I'm human, and these people are human, and they are insulting someone based on the color of their skin.
I think it's a tragedy that something like this could occur on a college campus, where I expect to find people who are forward thinkers and diverse global citizens. I guess I assumed too much.
But I think the real tragedy are the reactions of uninvolved people. Too many people were apathetic, too many of my friends said they had better things to do than help clean up. Far too many people found it funny.
I think what I am going to walk away with from this experience is that the difference between actions and words is huge. I grew up with people who sometimes said insulting things about other races; sadly that's just the midwest. But this kind of deliberate actions, rightly classified as a hate crime, is a whole other matter, and is completely inexcusable.
But how is any of it excusable? When do we jump the gap between saying and doing?
UPDATE: Two male students were arrested Wednesday in conjunction with this, and have been suspended from Mizzou. I believe they are being tried for a hate crime.
A couple friends organized a clean-up, and I went with too. But when we got there, someone else had already cleaned up, so we went inside instead to offer our apology. We weren't apologizing on behalf of our race, as some people thought. Sure I'm white, and the people who did this are probably white, but I'm not responsible. I'm apologizing because I'm human, and these people are human, and they are insulting someone based on the color of their skin.
I think it's a tragedy that something like this could occur on a college campus, where I expect to find people who are forward thinkers and diverse global citizens. I guess I assumed too much.
But I think the real tragedy are the reactions of uninvolved people. Too many people were apathetic, too many of my friends said they had better things to do than help clean up. Far too many people found it funny.
I think what I am going to walk away with from this experience is that the difference between actions and words is huge. I grew up with people who sometimes said insulting things about other races; sadly that's just the midwest. But this kind of deliberate actions, rightly classified as a hate crime, is a whole other matter, and is completely inexcusable.
But how is any of it excusable? When do we jump the gap between saying and doing?
UPDATE: Two male students were arrested Wednesday in conjunction with this, and have been suspended from Mizzou. I believe they are being tried for a hate crime.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
A Little Self-Exploration
Sometimes it's really easy for me to approach the world with a self-centered view. I think part of this stems from my personality: when confronted with a problem, I want to solve it.
The problems of this nation and this world, because we are a global community, are so vast that I often find it easier to shut them aside, and subscribe to a belief that is ideal, but not very real.
Two years ago, I first read the work of Ayn Rand entitled "Anthem" and the book spoke to me, because Rand explores the ability of society to shut out the individual and the importance of the word "I." Rand answered a question I was asking myself at the time, how can we fix the world if we are not fixed? Her answer is we can't.
And then a year and a half ago, I read her novel "The Fountainhead." And so many other questions were answered, I couldn't even name them all. But the point of that work, and the message I took and engrained in my life, is that a person's work is the essence of that person. It is hard to imagine work as perfect as Rand's world, but I started looking for that one thing that I could do as a profession that would allow me to feel that way. One of my favorite quotes from that book is Roarke, an architect, saying "I do not build for my clients, I have clients so that I can build." We can't all be architects, but shouldn't we all feel that way?
So last semester, I sat down to read her last novel, and her self-proclaimed greatest accomplishment "Atlas Shrugged." To say the least, the book is powerful. It took me literally the whole semester to read it, but I fell deeper and deeper into this political and philosophical world that she creates. I knew even then that Rand's ideas have holes, but her fundamental philosophy is very appealing. If every man stands up for himself, and if no one leans on anyone else, the world would be perfect. If every man answered the simple questions "What do I need? And how do I get it?" for himself and with integrity and self-pride, no man would be in need.
To understand the point of this post, you have to also understand that I have been extremely disillusioned in my faith in about the same time frame. I don't blame Ayn Rand for that at all. I was toying the line between anti-established-church and anti-god, and I think Rand was only a gentle shove toward the anti-god side.
But I have been thinking more and more that although her world is perfect, it is unattainable. The problems of the world are not just going to disappear, and although it is easier to share a belief that the problems are caused by human failure, maybe I could embrace beliefs that forced me to face those problems and look for solutions.
I'm not exactly saying I'm back on the Christian track, and I can almost guarantee I won't ever be back on the Catholic track. There are too many holes in the fabric of Catholicism for me to not see. I'm only suggesting that maybe the ideas behind it- loyalty and service and love- are things that I want back in my life, and things I want to stand for.
The problems of this nation and this world, because we are a global community, are so vast that I often find it easier to shut them aside, and subscribe to a belief that is ideal, but not very real.
Two years ago, I first read the work of Ayn Rand entitled "Anthem" and the book spoke to me, because Rand explores the ability of society to shut out the individual and the importance of the word "I." Rand answered a question I was asking myself at the time, how can we fix the world if we are not fixed? Her answer is we can't.
And then a year and a half ago, I read her novel "The Fountainhead." And so many other questions were answered, I couldn't even name them all. But the point of that work, and the message I took and engrained in my life, is that a person's work is the essence of that person. It is hard to imagine work as perfect as Rand's world, but I started looking for that one thing that I could do as a profession that would allow me to feel that way. One of my favorite quotes from that book is Roarke, an architect, saying "I do not build for my clients, I have clients so that I can build." We can't all be architects, but shouldn't we all feel that way?
So last semester, I sat down to read her last novel, and her self-proclaimed greatest accomplishment "Atlas Shrugged." To say the least, the book is powerful. It took me literally the whole semester to read it, but I fell deeper and deeper into this political and philosophical world that she creates. I knew even then that Rand's ideas have holes, but her fundamental philosophy is very appealing. If every man stands up for himself, and if no one leans on anyone else, the world would be perfect. If every man answered the simple questions "What do I need? And how do I get it?" for himself and with integrity and self-pride, no man would be in need.
To understand the point of this post, you have to also understand that I have been extremely disillusioned in my faith in about the same time frame. I don't blame Ayn Rand for that at all. I was toying the line between anti-established-church and anti-god, and I think Rand was only a gentle shove toward the anti-god side.
But I have been thinking more and more that although her world is perfect, it is unattainable. The problems of the world are not just going to disappear, and although it is easier to share a belief that the problems are caused by human failure, maybe I could embrace beliefs that forced me to face those problems and look for solutions.
I'm not exactly saying I'm back on the Christian track, and I can almost guarantee I won't ever be back on the Catholic track. There are too many holes in the fabric of Catholicism for me to not see. I'm only suggesting that maybe the ideas behind it- loyalty and service and love- are things that I want back in my life, and things I want to stand for.
Friday, February 19, 2010
How to Battle Swine Flu
Swine flu has been officially defeated! I've been fever free for two days now, and I even went to two classes! Now I just have to tackle the mountain of homework that is piling up as I write this...
But as the ancient Greeks loved to say PATHE MATHOS or wisdom through suffering. And since I can't get H1N1 again, I figured I would give you all a few tips for avoiding and/or surviving the flu, so someone gains wisdom from my suffering.
1. Anti-bacterial-- sounds simple to wash your hands and use a little anti-bacterial soap, but it's amazing how often we don't do just that. Remember being little, and washing your hands before dinner? Well the basic principle still applies and our hands are still dirty, but we don't wash them. Washing hand before and after meals is a great way to avoid spreading germs.
2. Stock up-- there is nothing wrong with having a full bag of cough drops and several extra boxes of kleenex around during flu season. Maybe if I had done this, I could have saved myself from using paper towel as kleenex after I finished two boxes.
3. Medicine only works if you'll take it!-- just a note for the Moms out there (particularly my own!) cough drops don't have to taste bad!! I have always had an intense dislike of cough drops, but Halls Naturals and Halls Citrus both taste really good and definitely work. The naturals even had a honey center, which is probably half the reason I feel better. Although I think I might forever associate the taste of honey with Swine Flu...
4. Two pillows-- this is a trick I learned from my Momma a long time ago, and it was a life-saver this week. Whenever you have a cough or a cold, prop your head up on two pillows while you sleep. It keeps everything running smooth even while you're asleep and gives you lots less coughs.
5. When you think it's over, think again-- Thursday night, I thought I was so much better, feeling great and I went out of the room for a few hours even. But in my sleep, I coughed so much I threw up for a bit, and I learned the lesson that you should always treat yourself as sick longer than you think. Also, I relearned lesson 4 in a very brutal way!
So that's all I've got: 5 ways to battle Swine Flu, and hopefully it is a helpful way of explaining exactly what I've been through this week. Now, off to work on that ever growing mountain of homework before it crushes me!
But as the ancient Greeks loved to say PATHE MATHOS or wisdom through suffering. And since I can't get H1N1 again, I figured I would give you all a few tips for avoiding and/or surviving the flu, so someone gains wisdom from my suffering.
1. Anti-bacterial-- sounds simple to wash your hands and use a little anti-bacterial soap, but it's amazing how often we don't do just that. Remember being little, and washing your hands before dinner? Well the basic principle still applies and our hands are still dirty, but we don't wash them. Washing hand before and after meals is a great way to avoid spreading germs.
2. Stock up-- there is nothing wrong with having a full bag of cough drops and several extra boxes of kleenex around during flu season. Maybe if I had done this, I could have saved myself from using paper towel as kleenex after I finished two boxes.
3. Medicine only works if you'll take it!-- just a note for the Moms out there (particularly my own!) cough drops don't have to taste bad!! I have always had an intense dislike of cough drops, but Halls Naturals and Halls Citrus both taste really good and definitely work. The naturals even had a honey center, which is probably half the reason I feel better. Although I think I might forever associate the taste of honey with Swine Flu...
4. Two pillows-- this is a trick I learned from my Momma a long time ago, and it was a life-saver this week. Whenever you have a cough or a cold, prop your head up on two pillows while you sleep. It keeps everything running smooth even while you're asleep and gives you lots less coughs.
5. When you think it's over, think again-- Thursday night, I thought I was so much better, feeling great and I went out of the room for a few hours even. But in my sleep, I coughed so much I threw up for a bit, and I learned the lesson that you should always treat yourself as sick longer than you think. Also, I relearned lesson 4 in a very brutal way!
So that's all I've got: 5 ways to battle Swine Flu, and hopefully it is a helpful way of explaining exactly what I've been through this week. Now, off to work on that ever growing mountain of homework before it crushes me!
Thursday, February 18, 2010
A Project?
During my little in-house stay here (having been quarantined due to Swine Flu) I have been watching quite a few movies and catching up on some things I've wanted to see. One of these was the much-discussed Julie & Julia.
The plot line focuses around the intertwined stories of Julia Child, famous chef, and Julie Powell, failed author. Julie spends a year of her life cooking through Julia's cookbook and blogging about her adventures.
Though I didn't fall in love with the movie, as so many people seem to have done, it did make me think that maybe there ought to be some sort of purpose for my blog. I did start the blog with the intention of tracking down my changing thoughts while in college, and maybe that is some sort of a goal. But aimless talk does seem rather selfish, doesn't it? Maybe if I were chronicling something or accomplishing a goal it would seem a little less egotistical.
So I am asking any and all readers, although it does seem like maybe my Dad is the only who reads this (love you!), to suggest some sort of goal for me to work on. Obviously I can't cook-- unless you know of a made-for-microwave cookbook!! So comment away with those suggestions!
The plot line focuses around the intertwined stories of Julia Child, famous chef, and Julie Powell, failed author. Julie spends a year of her life cooking through Julia's cookbook and blogging about her adventures.
Though I didn't fall in love with the movie, as so many people seem to have done, it did make me think that maybe there ought to be some sort of purpose for my blog. I did start the blog with the intention of tracking down my changing thoughts while in college, and maybe that is some sort of a goal. But aimless talk does seem rather selfish, doesn't it? Maybe if I were chronicling something or accomplishing a goal it would seem a little less egotistical.
So I am asking any and all readers, although it does seem like maybe my Dad is the only who reads this (love you!), to suggest some sort of goal for me to work on. Obviously I can't cook-- unless you know of a made-for-microwave cookbook!! So comment away with those suggestions!
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Living for Haiti
I'm definitely guilty of being one of those people who hear about a crisis, such as Haiti, and am tired of it by week 2. Sure, I feel sympathy for people suffering, but I don't like to have it dragged out in the news. With a nation full of people like that, America has all but forgotten the people of Haiti by now.
However, I was inspired today on a few levels by Petersburg local Jesse Sullivan. Turns out, he's been living in a tent for the past few weeks to show solidarity with the people of Haiti and to bring attention to their need. For the full story check out http://www.cnn.com/2010/US/02/17/mip.wednesday/index.html?iref=allsearch
The inspirational part is that he still cares and still recognizes the needs of those people. He is so committed to it that he is sleeping in a tent in Washington, D.C. in February. He is truly living his life as an example to other people, and that is extremely powerful.
I do, however, wonder what Jesse could be doing if he were actually in Haiti, helping the relief effort. Are his actions helping anyone? Or are they meant to inspire our government?
When all is said and done, I think CNN missed out on the biggest part of the story: Jesse should be a poster boy for relief efforts. Literally, he should be on a poster. Because he is good looking, caring, committed, smart-- basically he's got it all. And if he wants to share it with the world, who are we to stop him?
Edit: After reading Jesse's blog jessesullivan.blogspot.com, I understand his purpose a little better. During the day Jesse is working at the Haitian Embassy in D.C., and made the decision not to accept their offer for hotel accommodations but to show his solidarity and help raise awareness by sleeping in the tent. For more info, or to get involved with his project, check out his blog!
However, I was inspired today on a few levels by Petersburg local Jesse Sullivan. Turns out, he's been living in a tent for the past few weeks to show solidarity with the people of Haiti and to bring attention to their need. For the full story check out http://www.cnn.com/2010/US/02/17/mip.wednesday/index.html?iref=allsearch
The inspirational part is that he still cares and still recognizes the needs of those people. He is so committed to it that he is sleeping in a tent in Washington, D.C. in February. He is truly living his life as an example to other people, and that is extremely powerful.
I do, however, wonder what Jesse could be doing if he were actually in Haiti, helping the relief effort. Are his actions helping anyone? Or are they meant to inspire our government?
When all is said and done, I think CNN missed out on the biggest part of the story: Jesse should be a poster boy for relief efforts. Literally, he should be on a poster. Because he is good looking, caring, committed, smart-- basically he's got it all. And if he wants to share it with the world, who are we to stop him?
Edit: After reading Jesse's blog jessesullivan.blogspot.com, I understand his purpose a little better. During the day Jesse is working at the Haitian Embassy in D.C., and made the decision not to accept their offer for hotel accommodations but to show his solidarity and help raise awareness by sleeping in the tent. For more info, or to get involved with his project, check out his blog!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
H1N1
So what started as a sore throat on Saturday was officially diagnosed this morning as Swine Flu. With a 101.8 fever and a wicked cough, the doctor felt really bad for me, especially since they were running behind and I had the pleasure of falling asleep in the waiting room.
The inevitable question-- What's it like to have Swine Flu?
Well for me, it felt a lot like pneumonia. I will start coughing and it just rattles my insides and I feel like I'm holding myself together. The fever didn't really hit until this morning, and it just pushed the whole thing over the edge.
So I'm all bunked in for the long haul; I'm not supposed to be out and about until I am fever-free for 24 hours. Hopefully that will be sooner rather than later. I'm due for another dose of Tylenol at 8pm, and it's 7:30 now, and I don't feel fevery. So my hopes are high that I might be fully recovered by Thursday.
Just another (sick) day at the Zou,
Kathy
The inevitable question-- What's it like to have Swine Flu?
Well for me, it felt a lot like pneumonia. I will start coughing and it just rattles my insides and I feel like I'm holding myself together. The fever didn't really hit until this morning, and it just pushed the whole thing over the edge.
So I'm all bunked in for the long haul; I'm not supposed to be out and about until I am fever-free for 24 hours. Hopefully that will be sooner rather than later. I'm due for another dose of Tylenol at 8pm, and it's 7:30 now, and I don't feel fevery. So my hopes are high that I might be fully recovered by Thursday.
Just another (sick) day at the Zou,
Kathy
Thursday, February 11, 2010
The Lone Wolf
This is poem I like to call "The Lone Wolf"
Riding in the underground
Everybody stares
The faces are nameless
And I don’t really care
Wrapped up in this mask
And hiding my face
The world through a screen
Is a different place
This one has the courage
To be the black sheep
But beneath his makeup
He won’t make a peep
A sea full of uniqueness
And each one the same
The oddball has rules
But it’s still the same game
A black sheep is different
But still a sheep in the crowd
Who among them has courage
To be the lone wolf?
As I've said before I'm not much of a poet, but I am actually really proud of this one because of the character created. I think it could be more elaborate, but I wrote it from the view of a Middle-eastern woman riding the London underground. Her view of the world is different than mine, and I enjoy stepping into her perspective. I think one of the most challenging things for me, with poetry or writing, is to think outside of my own head. Many of these thoughts are still my own; the black sheep thing in particular is something I have often pondered. But I think the objective point of view of this woman is fascinating.
Just another day at the Zou,
Kathy
Riding in the underground
Everybody stares
The faces are nameless
And I don’t really care
Wrapped up in this mask
And hiding my face
The world through a screen
Is a different place
This one has the courage
To be the black sheep
But beneath his makeup
He won’t make a peep
A sea full of uniqueness
And each one the same
The oddball has rules
But it’s still the same game
A black sheep is different
But still a sheep in the crowd
Who among them has courage
To be the lone wolf?
As I've said before I'm not much of a poet, but I am actually really proud of this one because of the character created. I think it could be more elaborate, but I wrote it from the view of a Middle-eastern woman riding the London underground. Her view of the world is different than mine, and I enjoy stepping into her perspective. I think one of the most challenging things for me, with poetry or writing, is to think outside of my own head. Many of these thoughts are still my own; the black sheep thing in particular is something I have often pondered. But I think the objective point of view of this woman is fascinating.
Just another day at the Zou,
Kathy
Sometimes the Top seems a LONG way off
Somehow I've always known I wanted to go to a big college. I remember going to U of I once when Kate was in Science Olympiad in Jr. High, and Dad and I talked forever about how great a big school was (probably more like Dad listened while I ranted, and that's why I love him). But when I chose to come to Mizzou, I think I had neglected the big-school part of it in favor of many other aspects. I definitely wasn't expecting there to be any friction in the transition from small-town high school to big-time college, but life isn't always what we expect.
Those of you who go to a small school (aka my siblings) are probably thinking the typical mantra about huge universities: you're just a number or just one in the crowd.
Let me be clear: I have never felt that way at Mizzou.
I couldn't really put a finger on it at first, but Jessica summed it up well by saying that everyone here, from the student staff to the professors, from the T.A.s to my fellow students, literally everyone wants me to succeed. I haven't met a single person who wouldn't point me toward whatever help I needed, and most people I have been lucky enough to work with would go above and beyond that.
So the crowd thing really isn't the problem I've been having. I think the friction here isn't really a problem, but just what friction implies: resistance to a motion (I'm in Physics 1210 right now, sorry for the metaphors).
In high school I wanted to be a stand-out, so I was. I didn't have to work particularly hard or be spectacular to become a club officer, or make varsity, or be in the top 10. I didn't have to be great; I had to be good. At Mizzou, that's not enough. Here, you don't have to be great; you have to be spectacular.
So far this semester, I've applied for summer welcome, student staff, Phi Sigma Pi (a co-ed honors frat), changing my major, and tour team. Personally, I believe I am well-qualified for all of these things. But I have thus far only found out about two of them, and I didn't get summer welcome or PSP. I am slowly learning that it's not enough to be qualified, you have to have that extra factor. And there's no telling what that is.
I'll be sure to keep posting about the rest of these applications. I should find out about my major next week and about student staff in mid-March. And after much consideration, I have actually decided to withdraw my tour team application, because I can't make that commitment for next year.
So while I sort out the friction, and keep working to improve myself (I'm not exactly one to take rejection lying down!), I think the important realization here is that this is real. In the real world: I won't get jobs. I won't get dates. I won't get promotions. Despite the setbacks, I know that going to a big school is right for me, because I want to be great, and the challenges here are built to help me reach my potential.
Just another day at the Zou,
Kathy
Friday, February 5, 2010
Chuck Roberts
Today, our floor had an official dedication ceremony and famous anchorman Chuck Roberts, of Headline News, came in to celebrate. Basically, each of the floors in my building are now named after a famous Mizzou alumni who did something cool in their field, and my floor is Roberts House.
In a word, Roberts was very gracious about accepting the honor. He came in and was genuinely excited to be there. Not too many students were there, probably about 20 made it through the whole event. But the group that gathered listened to his stories about his Mizzou days and the advice he had about a career in Journalism with enthusiasm and interest (and some even had their note pads out!). It was gratifying to see how moved Roberts was to accept the honor, and to be a part of organizing the event so that he might share his story with our hall.
Overall, Roberts gave lots of advice about how to succeed in journalism and in life, but I think it can easily be summed up in two words: take risks. He spoke about his humble beginnings at CNN when it was just starting and how he had to forgo money and opportunity elsewhere to take a chance on an emerging company. Outside of journalism, the same advice can still be true. Money shouldn't be a guiding factor, just a concern. I think he made the excellent point, as is living proof, that if you follow your heart and work to build something new and marketable, the money will follow in time.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
STEVE!
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Rejection, scratch that, Opportunity
Coming to Mizzou, I knew there were two things I wanted to get involved with: Summer Welcome and student staff. Summer Welcome is our freshman orientation program that last two days, and the SW Leaders are a staff of 36 who help guide students and parents through their first days on campus. Student staff positions are a lot like being an R.A. at any other college, except they also teach a class to freshman. I recently applied for both positions, and have been going through the application process for each.
When it came to Summer Welcome, I was (to say the least) a bit conflicted about staying here all summer, working from 6 a.m. to 11 p.m. each day, and being constantly energetic. Although I am definitely capable of these things, there was a lot to think about. I think a large part of the appeal to me was the idea that it would be a lot like Leadership Camp, one of the best experiences of my life. So I applied, and once I made the decision to do so, I was really enthusiastic about it. My first round interview went well; no problems to speak of and I think I expressed myself well. The second round interview was a series of group activities and a few question and answers. I still have nothing to regret about that interview, and I think I did well, but I found out that night that I didn't get the position.
The weight of rejection was definitely with me at first, and I carried it around for a little bit, until I started thinking of all the things I would gain from a summer at home. In Springfield, I have the opportunity for theater, internships, and a much cheaper summer than I would have had here. Although I don't know how I feel about divine intervention and bigger plans, I definitely think that I was meant to not get SW, at least not this summer.
I started my candidate classes for P.A. (the student staff positions) today, and I am really excited for those opportunities. Today made me realize that while I was torn about SW and knew what I would do if I didn't get the job, I don't feel that way about student staff. I want to throw myself into the application process, because I know this a place I want to be. I don't have plans for what I'll do if I don't get it, even though I am very superstitious and will probably force myself to think of something before I find out in March if I got it or not.
So I think the title is really appropriate: I thought originally that I had been rejected, but perhaps, instead I have been given opportunity.
Just another day at the Zou,
Kathy
The Thread!
Since the start of this school year, 15 of my friends from high school have been keeping track of each other via our epic thread. For those not familiar with Facebook, a thread is a lot like a group email, except much easier to use. The thread started out with a poem by me, about what I was feeling the night before leaving for college. After a really lame good bye to my friends, I just couldn't leave without saying something more than that. The poem is called Our Separate Ways:
All my belongings, packed into a box,
Packed up my hairbrush, a lamp, some socks,
Soon I'll be leaving the city, the state
Got somewhere to go, and I just can't be late.
And you'll be gone too, off your own separate way,
But I'll see your face again some day.
You'll be older and wiser, drunker too,
But I pray through it all, you'll still be you.
Cause you're someone worth knowing, a one of a kind,
And even though I'm leaving, you're still on my mind.
We've grown up together, never really been apart,
And now I'm a little scared because the future's gonna start.
May you learn so much more that this little place can give.
May you make new friends and learn how to live.
And in times of laughter or with tears in your eyes,
always remember these are not final goodbyes.
'Cause a friend's a friend forever, or so I've been told,
And I hope our jokes are funny, even when we're old.
The times I've spent waiting to leave this small town,
were the times with you, and I want those to stick around.
So I'll leave with good memories, erase all the mistakes,
forget the days when our friendships were at stake.
And instead I'll remember the best of our days,
even as we head our own separate ways.
Packed up my hairbrush, a lamp, some socks,
Soon I'll be leaving the city, the state
Got somewhere to go, and I just can't be late.
And you'll be gone too, off your own separate way,
But I'll see your face again some day.
You'll be older and wiser, drunker too,
But I pray through it all, you'll still be you.
Cause you're someone worth knowing, a one of a kind,
And even though I'm leaving, you're still on my mind.
We've grown up together, never really been apart,
And now I'm a little scared because the future's gonna start.
May you learn so much more that this little place can give.
May you make new friends and learn how to live.
And in times of laughter or with tears in your eyes,
always remember these are not final goodbyes.
'Cause a friend's a friend forever, or so I've been told,
And I hope our jokes are funny, even when we're old.
The times I've spent waiting to leave this small town,
were the times with you, and I want those to stick around.
So I'll leave with good memories, erase all the mistakes,
forget the days when our friendships were at stake.
And instead I'll remember the best of our days,
even as we head our own separate ways.
From this interesting beginning (my poetry is nothing to get excited about), the thread has grown into a way to share info about classes, lives, boys, feelings, stress, and much much more. Our thread has had ups and downs, and created some animosity, but I think we are all much tighter for having stuck with it.
So why blog about the thread? Well, I think the biggest thing for me has been the realization that maybe our lives won't be quite like our parents. I know most people hardly speak to their high school friends when they're adults, but I can't imagine living like that, and maybe we don't have to. Technology has made us all more connected than ever, and even if it's just a Happy Birthday, or a Merry Christmas message, I like to think I'll stay in touch with each of the lovely ladies on the thread.
Just another day at the Zou!
Kathy
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Why Blog?
A lot of people have blogs, but I've never really seen the attraction. But I follow a few people on this site, and finally my room mate's blog inspired me to start one. She really explores her feelings and the honest things that are happening in her life, and although I do this mentally, I think it's time I started writing it down.
Most likely, this blog will be somewhat boring at times. I'm going to try to keep it going once a week or more, as the mood strikes me. The last thing I want is for this to be a punishment to any readers, or another piece of homework for me!
So I guess a good place to start this blog is with my current viewpoint. I'm on week 2 of my second semester at Mizzou (hence the Zou thing, if you didn't get it) and I have already had lots of interesting and powerful experiences this year. Without mentioning names or anything specific, last semester I came up close and personal (though not doing anything illegal or dangerous) with: college life and freedom, philosophy, alcohol and alcoholism, immature relationships, marijuana, tattoos, hard-core drugs, death, cancer, extensive thought, self-discovery, losing religion, defining home and finding literature.
I'm not a different person than I was; I'm still Kathy (hence the use of the semicolon). But I already know that I don't think the same way I did in August, and I'm sure my view will continue to change on this amazing journey we call college. Hopefully this blog will serve as a guide to my internal changes, and a way of keeping in touch with friends and family who might not get to see these changes take place.
I'd love for anyone and everyone to follow this blog or comment, but feel free to stop by whenever you have time.
EDIT: Some people have expressed concern about the whole drugs/alcohol thing or whatever else. Let me clarify: I'm not doing anything stupid, I mean it more in an observational sense. I know quite a few people who are constantly high, and this is what I'm referring to.
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